Monday, January 2, 2012

Passing the Holidays

The month of December has gone by like a flash and most of it has been spent out of site. While I feel bad being away from my people so often I have also enjoyed seeing more of the country and being a bit touristy and experiencing more of what Paraguay has to offer. Being away from home for the holidays is tough enough but being alone in the Paraguayan campo is even tougher especially when it is super hot and most days are spent sitting around drinking terére and lounging in a hammock so travel with fellow volunteers seems justified. Travel has also been made a lot easier as a result of my fantastic new neighbors whom have essentially adopted my dog and goat. In repayment to them I have done some plumbing in their house, worked in their field, made them bread (and taught them to make bread), and done a lot of general sharing with them. I am still eating several meals a week with them though not as many as the beginning which is a great thing for my diet and independence.

This month has also been a very introspective time as well as I am a year into service and everything is downhill from here. The month started off with the farewell get together of the environmental and agriculture volunteers that were in our sister group and arrived a year before us. It was great to see how they ended their service and how close of a group they were as they prepared to leave the country. We celebrated by gathering in one of the prettiest areas of Paraguay at an awesome hotel with a pool. The whole day was spent poolside sipping on beers and that night featured skits, slideshows, and a dance party. It made our group realize that we have to do a better job documenting our next year so that we have great memories to share by the time we swear out. The other half of a group swearing out is a new group swearing in. Peace Corps is very cyclical like that and at every swearing out there is a swearing in and a group that is halfway through. You essentially get 3 completely groups of being with very different mindsets regarding Peace Corps and their service. Personally, I am at a place, and I think a lot of my fellow group members would agree, where I am full of negative feelings and at the same time hopeful expectations regarding my Peace Corps service. I have been let down and taken advantage of more times than I would like to admit and the failures have added up. My actually role in country has been a constant question on my mind, I have constantly been asking myself about how much good I have actually accomplished and if I am making any difference whatsoever. Am I just wasting my time here? The answers to these questions have been mixed at best. Admittedly some days are better than others and some of those days are really bad but many of us have agreed that our lives are on a rollercoaster and while in the States life is the same in Paraguay you can be on top of the world one morning and hitting rock bottom that afternoon. That is likely to happen at least 3 times a week and the only way we get through it is our network of friends and long phone conversations with our own personal support groups. When I really sit down and think about it I have realized that I do have a good list of accomplishments between my computer classes, english classes and individual work with farmers. Another perspective that I have gained is that big sustainable projects are practically unheard of in Peace Corps and that the most long lasting positive impacts that we can make as volunteers is with individuals through conversation and just hanging out with them. The other day we ran into a volunteer who left Paraguay 3 years ago and his perspective was similar to mine, your service is most fulfilling when you pass your time in your community with the people you want to spend time with. The projects that we try to push along rarely have much of an impact but its the individual conversations we have and a day spent helping someone out that makes the longest lasting memories in our Paraguayan communities. It has been hard to be a laidback as Paraguayans recently but the reality is that we need to be and when we do our lives become happier because we are able to enjoy our time in the moment instead of some future project that we are pushing towards.

Now that the holidays are over I have decided to try out a few projects that various groups of Paraguayans have approached me about. I plan on playing a strictly supporting role providing information when applicable but never leading their gatherings or doing paperwork for them. I have three projects that seem to be impending one is a chicken egg project with a group of women in order to produce higher quantities of eggs, the second is a home garden project to create a more diverse food supply in community members houses, and the third is a fish farming project with a community member who is a an expert in this area and wants to help others in the community acquire their own aquaculture projects. These 3 are fairly large projects but luckily I have a handle on them in their subject matter, all I need to do know is help the groups to nail down funding sources and with that my second year could be a huge success. Realistically, I only see one of those projects coming to completion, but in my role as a facilitator I will do what I can for all of them even if all that ever happens are informational meetings for the interested parties.

It is crazy that it is already 2012 and I have less than a year left in my service and returned volunteers keep saying to us that this year will go by in a flash and I must say it already feels like it is. But that has to do with my crazy travelling going to see places like a white sand beach on an isolated lake in Paraguay for Christmas or spending New Year's Eve at a huge beautiful waterfall miles away from the nearest paved road and a 40 minute treacherous hike through the forest. My next few months will be more tranquilo as I will be spending almost of it in site because I have no foreseeable travel plans. But I will keep you updated! So happy 2012 may it be a great one!